Pencil shavings and dried play-dough.

brotherly love.

You run up and down the stairs a million times a day. I ask you to slow down so that you don’t slip and fall.

“I will, Mom.” he says, while continuing to go at lightening speed.

You get home on Sundays, and you run up to your room, putting your things away and settling in for your time with us.

“What are we going to do today?” She asks the same question…asked? No, let’s be honest, more often than not it’s texted, week after week before she gets home. You’ve always wanted to be in the know, always needing to be up-to-date on the plan, not wanting to be uninformed.

“MAMA!” he squeals every time I walk down the stairs. Although your speech is still developing — new words and phrases emerging every day — you certainly get your point across.

Continue reading “Pencil shavings and dried play-dough.”

The Cheerleader.

“HI!” J called to his friend while running ahead of me to get to summer camp this morning. This is a frequent occurrence. J is very friendly and outgoing and it seems that lots of other kids like him; initiating the hellos or the high-fives. I trailed behind and made my way up the ramp. When I stepped inside the gym, the noise of balls and hula-hoops almost deafening, I quickly spotted my boy against the wall where the backpacks are lined up. I made my way through the sea of children to get a quick hug. He quickly came to me and pulled his hat down over his eyes. “I love you, bud, have an awesome day.” “I love you, too” said through sniffles.

He had been there :30 seconds and was in quiet tears.

I asked him what was wrong and he tried to brush it off that he was okay. He wouldn’t make eye contact and his hat remained covering his face, not wanting anyone to see that he was hurting.  Continue reading “The Cheerleader.”

Throwing in the towel.

May came and went within the blink of an eye.

Cake is the best.

On top of me starting a new job, Baby turned ONE! What?!?! I know, I feel the same way. May was so insane with the onset of summer-like weather, celebrating little man’s birthday, house projects, weekend family fun days, and lots of time with friends. And here we are, already in June.

I think one of the main reasons that May flew by is that I didn’t sleep. In all honesty, I haven’t slept for almost two years. You may have already figured out that baby still isn’t sleeping through the night. But, I also had insomnia while pregnant, so while the house was sleeping the night away, I would be laying awake thinking about nothing in particular.

If you have been reading up on our life for some time, you may recall that this is not the first time we have dealt with sleep issues with a baby. J was not a fan. At all. It’s almost like I am in some sort of twisted time warp. Although baby L is different from J in a LOT of ways, there are some unfortunate similarities. One of the reasons I started this blog was so that I could write my feelings and document the life we were living. It has proved to be in invaluable resource because just when I need some advice, I go back, read, and see that I’ve done this before. I’ve come out the other side. It is possible. But holy hell, it doesn’t feel like it right now. Continue reading “Throwing in the towel.”

They call him Tator Salad.

So, how was your weekend? Good? I bet not as good as mine….

We typically use our weekends to complete the normal chores: grocery shopping, cleaning the house, completing mounds of laundry, and lounging about. On Saturday, we headed to Target to try to find a baby gate big enough to contain the small, yet extremely fast, baby. As a family of five, it is no small feat to get us all out of the house and to our destination relatively unscathed.

After a not-so-successful shopping trip (but J did get sneakers, so there’s that), we all loaded back into our vehicle to head to the grocery store. The big kids clamored in and got buckled, Husband took the baby to hook into the car seat, and I took the shopping cart back to the corral.

We took off down the highway when Husband suggested a stop at TJMaxx. Be still my heart. Why yes, dear Husband, I would love to go to TJMaxx. As we pulled into a parking space, I casually said, “Husband, did you grab my purse out of the shopping cart?”  Continue reading “They call him Tator Salad.”

12 years ago…

Twelve years.

Then — 2006

That seems like yesterday and a lifetime ago all at the same time. We worked together. We were friends, but more like acquaintances. I didn’t know anything about you. I didn’t know your favorite color. I didn’t know your favorite foods, that you liked football, or that you put your friends and family above all else.

As fate would have it, we were put in a situation that gave us the opportunity to talk, to learn, to grow, and to fall in love. That was twelve years ago this month.  Continue reading “12 years ago…”

Transitions are bittersweet.

When we found out we were pregnant with J, like any “new” mom, I started thinking about how we were going to decorate his nursery. I have never been one to follow trends, liking to pave my own way and push my own creativity. After much discussion, Husband and I settled on decorating J’s room with The Giving Tree and another Shel Silverstein poem. With that in mind, we reached out to my mom for help. One weekend, she painted, and his room was officially ready for his arrival.

As J has grown, so has his room. Although the same physical space, the crib made way for a twin, the board books and stuffed animals were replaced with learning-to-read books and well, still stuffed animals, and the amount of Legos strewn throughout his shelves, the floor, and every surface definitely hints that where a baby once lay, a boy now resides.  Continue reading “Transitions are bittersweet.”

Heavy conversations.

I don’t know about your kids, but my kids sometimes just blurt out things to start a discussion. They have no qualms about the day or the time….like first thing in the morning on a Saturday, or while cleaning up from dinner, to right before I say my goodnights to them.

A few weeks ago, J, who is always an early riser, started his Saturday conversation with me about a boy in his class, John.* Now, I’ve heard about John before, and a lot of other of the kids in his classroom. I first heard about John closer to the beginning of the school year and that John likes “girl” things. I asked J to clarify and was informed that John prefers dolls, princesses, and pink things. I said, “ok, that’s cool. We are all free to like what we like.” I’ve also very quickly corrected him when I’ve heard him saying that he and some of the other friends were laughing because of what John likes…I always try to spin it to remind him how he would feel if he was laughed at because of what he likes. Continue reading “Heavy conversations.”

Like a dog with a bone.


It’s Monday….every child is back in his/her rightful classroom and out of each other’s hair. We tried to keep as much of a routine as possible, but weren’t always the most successful at that. But, the kids were fed, dressed (mostly), and clean (sort of). I’m going to just call that a win.

When I was growing up, I used to be on the more obsessive side when it came to asking for things. If I asked my mom for a new CD, for example, and she said “yes” or “maybe,” I wouldn’t let it go until I knew exactly when I would acquire said CD. Mom would “lovingly” say I was like a dog with a bone…I just would not give up. I even tried this tactic on the times when she would say “no,” but that never went as well. Nowadays, mom describes that period of my life as me being very tenacious…it sounds better then needy, or nagging. Ironically, being asked the same question over and over, is one of my biggest pet peeves. And, even though it bugs me so much, I am still sometimes guilty in this department. Continue reading “Like a dog with a bone.”

February Vacation — day two.

It’s that time of year again when the kiddos are on vacation from school. Yippee. I say this with the thrill and love of my children, and the sarcastic, ugh. Husband and I both work full-time from home, so whether they are sick, on vacation, or just home for whatever other reason, we still have to work. Continue reading “February Vacation — day two.”

My funny valentine.

February 14.

The day when you are supposed to express your undying love for those who mean something to you. Whelp, I’ve never really thought much about Valentine’s Day. I’m not a huge fan of candy/chocolate. Oh, and I’m allergic to flowers. So, for me, the “traditional” gifts for Valentine’s Day don’t really do it for me. And, I’m one of “those” who think that if you love someone, you shouldn’t only show it on the day that you are “supposed” to…

I find more joy now in helping my wee ones give and get Valentine’s. I like to find little lame trinkets and chocolates…oh, and have to have cards. I just love cards. If I never got another present again and only got cards (handmade or purchased), I would be happy. Continue reading “My funny valentine.”